Blaz and Delmira

Finding ‌Healing in the Ordinary 

E.C. Lawton

 

Africa

War had left scars woven into my soul. 

Hell, my scars started forming before the war. Before I knew Zoe Eferhild even existed. My scars began when Finn and I ‌found ourselves in an orphanage as children in the heart of New York City. That was lifetimes ago, but it still created fear of not being chosen… of being abandoned. 

You know what’s not fun? Being the guinea pig for the entire foster care institution. From what I can tell, it’s only gone downhill since then. The only positive light in that darkness is that the corruption of humanity was slowly starting to change since we’d defeated Hesperia and Zoe had restored the Star Realms. 

Humans were becoming kinder–less self-absorbed. The damage of Hesperia wouldn’t heal overnight. It’d take generations, and I was one of those who needed a little healing… a little hope. 

Zoe’s charm bracelet, infused with her healing magic, hummed against my wrist. Through my own work and her magic, the nightmares had lessened, the sense that I had to be on edge all the time had quieted, and most of all, my love for Blaz had been given quiet permission to be loud. 

My fingers were threaded through his as we quietly watched a sleeping herd of elephants. We didn’t have those in the star realms, and I’d never seen one when I was still mortal. Blaz had been quick to plan a trip to Africa when I’d mentioned that I’d like to see an elephant in passing. It had felt like such a silly want at the time. 

Their bellies rose high as they took a large inhale of breath in their slumber, and I closed my eyes, leaning into the peaceful sound. Closing my eyes used to mean shame and terror, but that was slowly transforming with each new experience Blaz and I created. 

Zoe and Elvy were more than gracious with us gallivanting around the world. Without at a pending war, and the star realms healing themselves, they didn’t need us around as much. We’d more than earned the vacation. It felt good to be able to say that without guilt. 

I opened my eyes to find Blaz watching me. 

“We’re here to see the elephants, Blaz,” I chastised, and his only response was to circle his arms around my waist and pull me flush against him. 

“I’d rather watch you,” he whispered, sending chills through me. 

My body leaned against him without my mind telling it to. It was just that way with us. Where one of us moved, the other followed. My soul knew his as well as its own.  

The flicker of the lantern light barely illuminated the area around us, and I half wondered if a lion was stalking us. While it would be entertaining to watch Blaz wrestle a lion, I’d rather avoid it. We were the guardians of Earth, and that included its beasts. 

“Dance with me,” he said, and I remembered the first time he’d asked me to do that. It had been the first time I’d really admitted what I wanted from him, even though I hadn’t been sure I could give him what he wanted. More than that, I hadn’t been certain I wouldn’t sabotage it myself.  

What a fool I had been to think I wasn’t hopelessly in love with Blaz. That was the first night I had felt safe and seen by another soul. 

“Okay,” I said, turning to face him. 

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I clung to his neck as he swayed us to a familiar melody from his lips. 

The moon was brilliant tonight, and the stars weren’t overshadowed by the light pollution of humans. The galaxies were visible to our immortal eyes, making me feel like we were home in Vega. 

I missed Vega, but I wasn’t ready to go home yet. I was learning that it was okay to choose me.

Blaz twirled me around and leaned my body in his arms, brushing his lips against mine. 

“I love you, Delmira,” he said, and I cupped his face in my hands. 

“I love you, Blaz.” 

With Blaz at my side, in this moment, I felt like healing was a reality for me–that I could put the shadows of the past where they belonged. 

 

Greece

Healing wasn’t linear.

It never was for me.

Some nights the nightmares came back.

It wasn’t always about the war I’d fought as an immortal—but the quieter, crueler one from when I was human. Hunger. Loneliness. The constant, gnawing certainty that no one was coming for me until Vega had officially claimed me as theirs in my Emerging. 

On those nights, Zoe’s charms burned, pulling the trauma from me and infusing a bit of healing within the parts of my damaged soul.

It would never heal me fully. That work was for me, but it was enough to remind me that I was safe and chosen now. 

Blaz would be there for me through it all. 

We’d traveled almost everywhere I’d always wanted to go. Sometimes the panic attacks hit in the most stunning places. It was a juxtaposition to be standing amidst something so beautiful when my insides felt like a well of torment. 

Blaz was always there with patience and the belief that I could heal. He believed in me when I struggled to do it myself. 

On rooftops. In doorways. Sitting on the floor with my knees pulled to my chest. He was there. 

“I don’t know how to unlearn it,” I said, voice breaking. “The waiting. The expecting it all to disappear.”

He crouched in front of me, steady as ever.

“Then don’t unlearn it,” he said. “Outgrow it.”

I furrowed my brows. “How?”

“By living. That’s how you win, Delm. Embracing life.”

So I did. I focused on the cool sand of the beach we sat on in Greece. We’d ended up on the island of Paros, and I’d fallen in love with the food and the people. Santorini had felt more like a buzzing tourist trap, but Paros was quiet and soft. It was more aligned with what I was searching for now… peace. 

We’d had such a good day, and for some reason, a panic attack stormed over me out of nowhere. In Africa, I thought I’d gotten through the worst of it. Anger at myself had tried to overtake me, but I refused. Spite was one thing I was great at. I knew anger wasn’t the best emotion to have, but it helped me focus. It helped me know where I needed to grow. 

Blaz brushed a strand of my lilac hair from my eyes. 

“I’m here,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say a thing, okay? I’m just going to sit with you.” 

I nodded, not having the energy to try to explain what was happening within me. Hell, I wasn’t sure I knew what was even going on. I’d hidden behind anger and numbness for so long, emotions were still hard to name for me. 

Blaz nudged his shoulder against mine, and I laid my head down on him to rest. 

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there watching the ocean crash against the shore, but eventually the panic left, and I was filled with warmth again. 

I choose to live. 

 

Ireland

Zoe had insisted that we come to Ireland. It was apparently her favorite mortal place, and I saw the appeal. 

It was beautifully green, reminding me of the Court of Rigil. 

We’d left Greece a few days ago, and took human transportation to Ireland for some forsaken reason. Traveling via the star’s transport zones was much more practical and fun. 

Blaz had insisted on the human experience, and I was too in love with him to argue. 

We stared over the Cliffs of Moher on an uncharacteristically sunny day. 

The ocean water was an indigo blue, and the grass was a vivid green. Pink flowers covered the cliffs, and the mortals seemed excited about some black and white bird with a colorful beak. 

I wasn’t sure what the fuss was about, but they were cute. As I stood over the cliffs, looking at the endless sea before me, I had a nagging feeling I’d seen something like this before. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I felt it in my soul. 

I was certain I’d never seen it in my human life, and there was nothing quite like this spot in the star realms. Maybe it was okay not to know. Trying to control every facet of my life has done nothing but make my pain worse. 

I smiled as a familiar breeze of lilies hit my face, and I embraced it. 

I hadn’t had another panic attack or nightmare since the beach in Greece, and I was calling that a win. 

The magic in Zoe’s charm was still strong, and I wasn’t ready to go back. Not yet. I still had some life yet to live. 

I wove my fingers through Blaz’s hands, enjoying the sea breeze against my skin. 

It felt like freedom, and that’s all I really craved. 

 

New Zealand

“I think we’ve hit every place I wanted to go on Earth,” I said, preparing to leap into the Shadows to our next destination. 

I had vehemently declined to do anymore mortal transportation after Ireland. Blaz had laughed and agreed that it was nothing compared to flying through the stars. 

We’d traveled to America to see the Rocky Mountains, Grand Canyon, the Redwood Forest, and the Hoh Rainforest. The Grand Canyon and the Redwood trees had made me feel like a speck of dust in this massive universe, which had healed me just a little more. 

After that, we’d traveled to Japan, and I’d eaten my fill of food there. Then on to China and India. Anywhere I could dream up, we ventured to, and Blaz never complained. 

I’d never felt so carefree in my centuries of life, and I think Blaz felt the same. In a way, we got to be kids again. 

Our next stop was New Zealand. We’d just finished circling around Australia. Some of the animals were truly terrifying. Seriously, why did so many things need to slither and crawl? I’d been most fascinated by the coral reefs that were beginning to transform and heal since the war. 

It made me long for Vega, and I was feeling ready to visit home. I wasn’t sure I was ready to resume my role as second, but I was ready for a visit. I hadn’t seen Charlie in too long. Clodovea and Imelda liked to guilt-trip me on that one, and they were winning. I missed the kid. 

Blaz and I leaped through the transport zone and found ourselves flying through the stars to get to New Zealand.

It wasn’t long before we saw our portal exit and jumped into the shadows, finding ourselves in a grassy area with snow-capped mountains. 

I’d now seen and lived a lot of life with Blaz in our travels. I could confidently say that this was the most stunning place I’d ever seen. 

The stars twinkled brightly in the sky, and the moon was full, illuminating our faces easily. It was in my soul to love the night. 

I turned around to share my joy with Blaz to find him down on one knee with a little lilac box in his massive palms. 

My heart stopped, as I realized what the man I loved was doing. 

“What are you–” I started, and he stopped me with a dark look in his eyes. 

“Let me do this,” he said, and I pressed my lips together, tears burning my eyes. 

I let them fall, embracing the well of emotion I felt for Blaz. 

“I have loved you for centuries, Delmira. As a friend, and now as the love of my life. You are the one I choose to live the rest of our very long existence with. We have faced war together and come out the victor, and now… I want to embrace life with you. Will you marry me, Delm?”

I stepped up to his frame, meeting him on his knees. 

“Yes, Blaz. I will.” 

His grin would forever be burned on my soul. He placed the beautiful amethyst ring on my finger, and I cupped his face, kissing him with fervor. 

In his arms, I would always be safe and home.